x
Toggle Content Register or Login  -  March 29, 2024, 4:01 pm
Toggle Content User Info

Welcome Anonymous

Nickname
Password

Membership:
Latest: LucilleDZ
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 2016

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 285
Total: 285
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Community Forums
02: Community Forums
03: Community Forums
04: Photo Gallery
05: Home
06: My Account
07: My Account
08: My Account
09: Stories Archive
10: Community Forums
11: Community Forums
12: My Account
13: Community Forums
14: My Account
15: Community Forums
16: Community Forums
17: My Account
18: Community Forums
19: Community Forums
20: My Account
21: Home
22: Community Forums
23: Community Forums
24: Community Forums
25: Community Forums
26: My Account
27: Community Forums
28: My Account
29: Community Forums
30: Community Forums
31: My Account
32: Community Forums
33: My Account
34: Community Forums
35: My Account
36: My Account
37: Stories Archive
38: My Account
39: My Account
40: Community Forums
41: Community Forums
42: Community Forums
43: My Account
44: Community Forums
45: Statistics
46: Community Forums
47: My Account
48: Community Forums
49: Community Forums
50: My Account
51: Community Forums
52: Community Forums
53: My Account
54: My Account
55: My Account
56: My Account
57: My Account
58: Community Forums
59: Community Forums
60: Community Forums
61: My Account
62: Community Forums
63: My Account
64: Community Forums
65: Community Forums
66: Community Forums
67: Community Forums
68: Community Forums
69: Community Forums
70: Community Forums
71: My Account
72: My Account
73: My Account
74: Community Forums
75: Community Forums
76: Community Forums
77: Community Forums
78: My Account
79: Community Forums
80: Community Forums
81: Community Forums
82: Community Forums
83: My Account
84: Community Forums
85: Community Forums
86: Statistics
87: Community Forums
88: My Account
89: Home
90: Home
91: Community Forums
92: Community Forums
93: My Account
94: Community Forums
95: Community Forums
96: Photo Gallery
97: Community Forums
98: Community Forums
99: Community Forums
100: My Account
101: Community Forums
102: Community Forums
103: Community Forums
104: Community Forums
105: Community Forums
106: Community Forums
107: Community Forums
108: My Account
109: Community Forums
110: Community Forums
111: Community Forums
112: Community Forums
113: Community Forums
114: My Account
115: Photo Gallery
116: Community Forums
117: Community Forums
118: Community Forums
119: Community Forums
120: My Account
121: Community Forums
122: Community Forums
123: My Account
124: Home
125: Community Forums
126: Community Forums
127: Home
128: Statistics
129: Community Forums
130: Community Forums
131: Community Forums
132: Community Forums
133: Community Forums
134: Community Forums
135: Community Forums
136: Home
137: Community Forums
138: Community Forums
139: Community Forums
140: Community Forums
141: Community Forums
142: Photo Gallery
143: Statistics
144: My Account
145: Community Forums
146: Community Forums
147: My Account
148: Community Forums
149: Photo Gallery
150: My Account
151: Community Forums
152: Community Forums
153: Photo Gallery
154: Photo Gallery
155: Community Forums
156: Community Forums
157: Statistics
158: Community Forums
159: Community Forums
160: Community Forums
161: Community Forums
162: Community Forums
163: My Account
164: Community Forums
165: Community Forums
166: Community Forums
167: My Account
168: Home
169: My Account
170: Community Forums
171: My Account
172: Community Forums
173: Statistics
174: Community Forums
175: Community Forums
176: Community Forums
177: Community Forums
178: Community Forums
179: My Account
180: Community Forums
181: My Account
182: My Account
183: My Account
184: My Account
185: Statistics
186: Community Forums
187: Community Forums
188: Community Forums
189: Community Forums
190: Community Forums
191: Community Forums
192: My Account
193: Community Forums
194: Community Forums
195: Community Forums
196: My Account
197: Community Forums
198: Community Forums
199: My Account
200: My Account
201: Community Forums
202: Community Forums
203: Community Forums
204: Community Forums
205: Community Forums
206: Community Forums
207: Community Forums
208: Community Forums
209: Community Forums
210: Statistics
211: Community Forums
212: Community Forums
213: Community Forums
214: My Account
215: Community Forums
216: Community Forums
217: My Account
218: My Account
219: Community Forums
220: Community Forums
221: Community Forums
222: Community Forums
223: Community Forums
224: My Account
225: Photo Gallery
226: Community Forums
227: My Account
228: My Account
229: My Account
230: My Account
231: Stories Archive
232: Statistics
233: Photo Gallery
234: Community Forums
235: Community Forums
236: My Account
237: My Account
238: Community Forums
239: My Account
240: Community Forums
241: My Account
242: My Account
243: Community Forums
244: Community Forums
245: Community Forums
246: Community Forums
247: Community Forums
248: Statistics
249: Community Forums
250: Community Forums
251: Community Forums
252: My Account
253: Statistics
254: My Account
255: Statistics
256: Community Forums
257: My Account
258: Community Forums
259: Community Forums
260: Community Forums
261: Community Forums
262: Community Forums
263: Stories Archive
264: My Account
265: Community Forums
266: Photo Gallery
267: Community Forums
268: My Account
269: My Account
270: Community Forums
271: Community Forums
272: Community Forums
273: Community Forums
274: Home
275: Community Forums
276: Community Forums
277: Community Forums
278: Community Forums
279: Community Forums
280: Community Forums
281: Community Forums
282: My Account
283: Community Forums
284: Community Forums
285: Community Forums

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
Toggle Content Main Menu
Toggle Content Last Posts
Last 10 Forum Messages

bocca
Last post by tennino in General Discussion Groups on Jan 16, 2021 at 16:56:41

Towns in Frosinone that were part of former Vatican States a
Last post by Italysearcher in Central Italy on Feb 19, 2019 at 09:15:58

Dual Citizenship
Last post by Curci-Ghio in General Discussion Groups on Nov 18, 2018 at 15:30:54

Please Help Translate Letter
Last post by nuccia in Translations on Oct 20, 2018 at 06:18:43

Family in Cittanova
Last post by russojoseph1 in Translations on Oct 14, 2018 at 12:28:20

DNA Testing
Last post by nuccia in General Discussion Groups on Sep 29, 2018 at 10:39:30

Trento -Atto di Nascita - Frazione di Poia, Comune di Comano
Last post by exevans in Northern Italy on Mar 28, 2018 at 00:45:37

Translating written postcard
Last post by mekanic in Translations on Jan 18, 2018 at 13:58:50

Translating written postcard
Last post by mekanic in Translations on Jan 18, 2018 at 13:53:38

State of the Family Record & Other State Records
Last post by debbiemfit in Northern Italy on Jan 02, 2018 at 23:14:28

Toggle Content Help Support this Site
Please support GentediMareGenealogy
Help us by supporting the future development of this site, or simply to say thank you.
Toggle Content EStore
Community Forums › Just For Fun › Jokes & Riddles-Clean Jokes Only › God & Satan!

     Forum FAQ   Search   Log in to check your private messages   Login  
God & Satan!
Jokes are posted in fun and as the Heading suggests, only clean content allowed. So go on and have a laugh...

Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum Index Jokes & Riddles-Clean Jokes Only Printer Friendly Page

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Carole
Admin
Admin


Joined: Jul 10, 2007
Posts: 1662
Location: Valtellina - Near Lake Como

PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 1:58 am    Post subject: God & Satan! Reply with quote

God & Satan
In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums. And Satan said, 'You want hot fudge with that? And Man said, 'Yes!' And Woman said, 'I'll have one too with chocolate chips'. And lo they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthy yoghurt that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.

So God said, 'Try my fresh green salad'. And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said 'I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them'.

And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter, and Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds. God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds.

And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.

Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger. Then Satan said 'You want fries with that?' and Man replied, 'Yes, and super size 'em'. And Satan said, 'It is good.' And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed ......... and created quadruple by-pass surgery.

And then ............ Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service.

THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION

After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health.:

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4.. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
6. The French eat foie-gras, full fat cheese and drink red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

_________________

Researching: EDMED, SAVILL, TYSON, NEWCOMBE, STAPLETON, GUNTER, STAPLES
If you think education is expensive -try ignorance!

>Expats in Italy<
Come and join 'Dork and Friends'! >New Blog<
Back to top
View user's profile
BillieDeKid
V.I.P.
V.I.P.


Joined: Oct 26, 2007
Posts: 1221
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 7:15 am    Post subject: Re: God & Satan! Reply with quote


_________________
Elizabeth
Brognaturo On Line
Brognaturo Civil Records
Mangiardi, Tedeschi/Tedesco, Zangari, Coda, DeFrancesco, Ierulli, Bava, Daniele, Valente
Back to top
View user's profile
Emmy
V.I.P.
V.I.P.


Joined: Jul 11, 2007
Posts: 1000
Location: Scotland

PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 9:10 am    Post subject: Re: God & Satan! Reply with quote

Good one Carole kiss
Now I can go and have strawberries and ice cream and not worry!!
but first before I do I'll go and get my dictoionary and translate the last sentence into another language
giornale giornale Wink
Emmy

_________________
Lady Emmy
Back to top
View user's profile
Carole
Admin
Admin


Joined: Jul 10, 2007
Posts: 1662
Location: Valtellina - Near Lake Como

PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 11:41 am    Post subject: Re: God & Satan! Reply with quote

Great idea Emmy - do that and we can have a banana party!

peep

(Without banans - of course!)

_________________

Researching: EDMED, SAVILL, TYSON, NEWCOMBE, STAPLETON, GUNTER, STAPLES
If you think education is expensive -try ignorance!

>Expats in Italy<
Come and join 'Dork and Friends'! >New Blog<
Back to top
View user's profile
  Page 1 of 1All times are GMT - 4 Hours

Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum Index Jokes & Riddles-Clean Jokes Only Printer Friendly Page

  
 
Jump to:  



You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum



Hosted By Site5.com
The logos and trademarks used on this site are the property of Gente di Mare Genealogy.
We are not responsible for comments posted by our users, as they are the opinions of the poster.
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy
TCD_ItalianGene © Gente di Mare Genealogy