x
Toggle Content Register or Login  -  November 19, 2018, 2:12 pm
Toggle Content User Info
Toggle Content Main Menu
Toggle Content Last Posts
Last 10 Forum Messages

Dual Citizenship
Last post by Curci-Ghio in General Discussion Groups on Nov 18, 2018 at 15:30:54

Please Help Translate Letter
Last post by nuccia in Translations on Oct 20, 2018 at 07:18:43

Family in Cittanova
Last post by russojoseph1 in Translations on Oct 14, 2018 at 13:28:20

DNA Testing
Last post by nuccia in General Discussion Groups on Sep 29, 2018 at 11:39:30

Trento -Atto di Nascita - Frazione di Poia, Comune di Comano
Last post by exevans in Northern Italy on Mar 28, 2018 at 01:45:37

Translating written postcard
Last post by mekanic in Translations on Jan 18, 2018 at 13:58:50

Translating written postcard
Last post by mekanic in Translations on Jan 18, 2018 at 13:53:38

State of the Family Record & Other State Records
Last post by debbiemfit in Northern Italy on Jan 02, 2018 at 23:14:28

Settimor torinese nato Caterina Martini
Last post by Franksme in Northern Italy on Jan 01, 2018 at 17:14:11

Ambrogio Bianchi Birth Certificate - Rome/Ferentino
Last post by debbiemfit in Where do I begin? on Oct 14, 2017 at 15:28:01

Toggle Content Help Support this Site
Please support GentediMareGenealogy
Help us by supporting the future development of this site, or simply to say thank you.
Toggle Content EStore
Community Forums › Just For Fun › Jokes & Riddles-Clean Jokes Only › For all you parents!

     Forum FAQ   Search   Log in to check your private messages   Login  
For all you parents!
Jokes are posted in fun and as the Heading suggests, only clean content allowed. So go on and have a laugh...

Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum Index Jokes & Riddles-Clean Jokes Only Printer Friendly Page

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Carole
Admin
Admin


Joined: Jul 10, 2007
Posts: 1662
Location: Valtellina - Near Lake Como

PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 6:25 pm    Post subject: For all you parents! Reply with quote

I Owe My Mother
****************

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my favorite:

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you! kiss

_________________

Researching: EDMED, SAVILL, TYSON, NEWCOMBE, STAPLETON, GUNTER, STAPLES
If you think education is expensive -try ignorance!

>Expats in Italy<
Come and join 'Dork and Friends'! >New Blog<
Back to top
View user's profile
nuccia
Admin
Admin


Joined: Jul 10, 2007
Posts: 4372
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 10:13 pm    Post subject: Re: For all you parents! Reply with quote

This is a Classic Carole! I really enjoyed reading it since it brought back soooooo many memories...

_________________
nuccia
Italian Surname Database

Calabria Exchange
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website
liviomoreno
V.I.P.
V.I.P.


Joined: Sep 08, 2007
Posts: 1140
Location: Rome (Italy)

PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 3:34 am    Post subject: Re: For all you parents! Reply with quote

How true it is!

_________________
Livio
La mia genealogia
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website Photo Gallery
lilbees
V.I.P.
V.I.P.


Joined: Nov 21, 2007
Posts: 754
Location: Georgia, USA

PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 9:50 am    Post subject: Re: For all you parents! Reply with quote

And I thought my mother was the only one who said those things! Great memories.....................

lilbees

P.S. I am sending a copy of this to my kids today. (even if they are all at or pushing 50 now) My grandkids give me a great deal of satisfaction in they are very much like their parents. LOVE IT !!!!!

_________________
Researching: RESCIGNO, CATALANO, MAGRO, ANGRISANO, CALABRESE, GAGLIO, DE ANGELIS
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Emmy
V.I.P.
V.I.P.


Joined: Jul 11, 2007
Posts: 1000
Location: Scotland

PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 7:05 pm    Post subject: Re: For all you parents! Reply with quote

Just loved that Carole I could just hear myself saying some of those phrases
Just reminded me of a note that one of the teachers received from a parent It said,'Please excuse Janet for being absent but she had to look after the other children because I've been under the Doctor for the past few days' Shocked
Emmy

_________________
Lady Emmy
Back to top
View user's profile
nuccia
Admin
Admin


Joined: Jul 10, 2007
Posts: 4372
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 8:44 pm    Post subject: Re: For all you parents! Reply with quote

Ha Ha..

That must have been funny! I can just imagine the look on your face.

_________________
nuccia
Italian Surname Database

Calabria Exchange
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website
  Page 1 of 1All times are GMT - 4 Hours

Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum Index Jokes & Riddles-Clean Jokes Only Printer Friendly Page

  
 
Jump to:  



You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum



Hosted By Site5.com
The logos and trademarks used on this site are the property of Gente di Mare Genealogy.
We are not responsible for comments posted by our users, as they are the opinions of the poster.
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy
TCD_ItalianGene © Gente di Mare Genealogy