x
Toggle Content Register or Login  -  August 19, 2018, 9:40 am
Toggle Content User Info
Toggle Content Main Menu
Toggle Content Last Posts
Last 10 Forum Messages

Trento -Atto di Nascita - Frazione di Poia, Comune di Comano
Last post by exevans in Northern Italy on Mar 28, 2018 at 01:45:37

Translating written postcard
Last post by mekanic in Translations on Jan 18, 2018 at 14:58:50

Translating written postcard
Last post by mekanic in Translations on Jan 18, 2018 at 14:53:38

State of the Family Record & Other State Records
Last post by debbiemfit in Northern Italy on Jan 03, 2018 at 00:14:28

Settimor torinese nato Caterina Martini
Last post by Franksme in Northern Italy on Jan 01, 2018 at 18:14:11

Ambrogio Bianchi Birth Certificate - Rome/Ferentino
Last post by debbiemfit in Where do I begin? on Oct 14, 2017 at 15:28:01

Cardano al Campo, Italy
Last post by Seabreezes1 in Northern Italy on Oct 13, 2017 at 21:58:14

Motta San Giovanni / Valanidi questions: please help!
Last post by Italysearcher in Where do I begin? on Sep 24, 2017 at 18:25:31

Bastianelli Sant Elia Fiumerapido or Altina
Last post by Italysearcher in Central Italy on Sep 23, 2017 at 18:29:38

RESEACHING LUCIA NAPOLI DELIANOUVA
Last post by nuccia in Where do I begin? on Sep 22, 2017 at 06:13:48

Toggle Content Help Support this Site
Please support GentediMareGenealogy
Help us by supporting the future development of this site, or simply to say thank you.
Toggle Content EStore
Community Forums › Just For Fun › Jokes & Riddles-Clean Jokes Only › GROWING OLD??

     Forum FAQ   Search   Log in to check your private messages   Login  
GROWING OLD??
Jokes are posted in fun and as the Heading suggests, only clean content allowed. So go on and have a laugh...

Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum Index Jokes & Riddles-Clean Jokes Only Printer Friendly Page

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Emmy
V.I.P.
V.I.P.


Joined: Jul 11, 2007
Posts: 1000
Location: Scotland

PostPosted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:32 pm    Post subject: GROWING OLD?? Reply with quote

This was sent to me today thought I'd share it with you all

GROWING OLD???

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly
widow and asked,
'How old was your husband?'
'98,' she replied, 'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded , 'Hardly worth going home, is it?

Reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter
asked.
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'

The nice thing about being senile is You can hide your own Easter eggs.

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes
I'm half blind,
Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
Take 40 different medications that
Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia ..
Have poor circulation;
Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 89 or 98.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
So I got my doctor's permission to
Join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour
But,
By the time I got my leotards on, The class was over.

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp
as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

It's scary when you start making the same noises As your coffee maker.

These days about half the stuff In my shopping cart says,
' For fast relief.'
*
THE SENILITY PRAYER :* Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
The eyesight to tell the difference.

Emmy

_________________
Lady Emmy
Back to top
View user's profile
qnana
Mem
Mem


Joined: Aug 21, 2008
Posts: 27

PostPosted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 8:45 pm    Post subject: Re: GROWING OLD?? Reply with quote

Very Happy
Beautiful - thanks for brightening my day!

qnana
Back to top
View user's profile
nuccia
Admin
Admin


Joined: Jul 10, 2007
Posts: 4368
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 4:11 am    Post subject: Re: GROWING OLD?? Reply with quote

Emmy, PRICELESS! Thank you!

_________________
nuccia
Italian Surname Database

Calabria Exchange
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website
JoeB
Explorer
Explorer


Joined: Nov 14, 2008
Posts: 354
Location: Chicago Area

PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 12:14 pm    Post subject: Re: GROWING OLD?? Reply with quote

Haven't been hiding my Easter eggs yet, but each day I hide something. Also have been watching TV reruns with a new enthusiasm. Reading some books that seem familiar is becoming another problem. Smile

_________________
Researching DeMaso, Del Favero, Nebbiu, Valle di Cadore and Pieve di Cadore, Belluno, Veneto, Italy.
Also researching James Blackwell, Royal Regiment of Artillery in Ashton-Under-Lyne, County of Lancashire, England. b:1827 Macclesfield, County of Cheshire, England. d: About 1889 at Garden Island, Ontario, Canada.
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
Emmy
V.I.P.
V.I.P.


Joined: Jul 11, 2007
Posts: 1000
Location: Scotland

PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 3:23 pm    Post subject: Re: GROWING OLD?? Reply with quote

Guess you are like me Joe my problem is I put things away in safe places and those places are ssssooooo safe even I cant find them- to be more truthful I cant remember where I put them!!!

Just think how I'll enjoy watching my family's faces (either when I'm looking down on them or looking up!!) when they unearth all those sentimental things I've squirrelled away---but one thing for sure it will be like the vault in the film 'Richie Rich' - nothing of value!! lol lol lol lol
Emmy

_________________
Lady Emmy
Back to top
View user's profile
JoeB
Explorer
Explorer


Joined: Nov 14, 2008
Posts: 354
Location: Chicago Area

PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 3:54 pm    Post subject: Re: GROWING OLD?? Reply with quote

The only things of value around here are my Family Tree files which most of my descendants role their eyes at when I bring up the subject. Hopefully someone will appreciate them down the line (I keep giving them flash drives for their birthdays :-)). Meanwhile, I guess I'll try to figure out where I left my car keys and then go out and get lost.:-)

_________________
Researching DeMaso, Del Favero, Nebbiu, Valle di Cadore and Pieve di Cadore, Belluno, Veneto, Italy.
Also researching James Blackwell, Royal Regiment of Artillery in Ashton-Under-Lyne, County of Lancashire, England. b:1827 Macclesfield, County of Cheshire, England. d: About 1889 at Garden Island, Ontario, Canada.
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
nuccia
Admin
Admin


Joined: Jul 10, 2007
Posts: 4368
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 9:11 am    Post subject: Re: GROWING OLD?? Reply with quote

So then this should fit in nicely..

An elderly gent was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one evening.
He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife
with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, Beloved, etc. The couple had been married almost 40 years and clearly, they were still very much in love.

While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host,
'I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names ' The old man hung his head.
'I have to tell you the truth,' he said, 'Her name slipped my mind about 5 years ago, and I'm scared to death to ask her what it is !'

_________________
nuccia
Italian Surname Database

Calabria Exchange
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website
Emmy
V.I.P.
V.I.P.


Joined: Jul 11, 2007
Posts: 1000
Location: Scotland

PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 8:43 pm    Post subject: Re: GROWING OLD?? Reply with quote

Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Still hope for me yet then .
Good idea to keep this in mind for future reference but more than likely when I need it I will have forgotten it Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
Emmy
xx

_________________
Lady Emmy
Back to top
View user's profile
  Page 1 of 1All times are GMT - 4 Hours

Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum Index Jokes & Riddles-Clean Jokes Only Printer Friendly Page

  
 
Jump to:  



You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum



Hosted By Site5.com
The logos and trademarks used on this site are the property of Gente di Mare Genealogy.
We are not responsible for comments posted by our users, as they are the opinions of the poster.
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy
TCD_ItalianGene © Gente di Mare Genealogy